Children love to play! It is fun and so vital for healthy development. Play is how young children make sense of their world, developing key motor, cognitive, communication and social-emotional skills. As we observe our children playing together, we see them practicing conflict resolution, problem solving, teamwork and cooperation. Playing also allows children to discover the world, where they fit in it and who they are (e.g. their likes and dislikes, talents and interests).
Sociologist Mildred Parten identified six stages of play that children progress through from birth through 5 years of age.
*It is important to note that each child develops at their own pace, so children of the same age may be in different stages of play.
The Six Stages of Play
Unoccupied Play (0 – 3 months)
Unoccupied Play is when newborns and infants use their senses to explore the world. Kicking their legs or putting their hands and feet into their mouths are some examples of how unoccupied play helps infants learn about themselves and their surroundings. They develop their motor skills as well as depth perception, tactile skills, and object permanence (which is a child’s ability to know that objects continue to exist even though they can no longer be seen or heard).
Some examples of Unoccupied Play for newborns and infants include:
- staring, giggling or hitting a play mobile in a cot.
- kicking their legs and flapping their hands when lying down.
- picking up, shaking, and discarding an age-appropriate toy.
While Unoccupied Play comes naturally to most newborns and infants, supporting them can help develop these skills faster. For example, you can schedule tummy time. Talk to your child every chance you get, such as when you are dressing, feeding, and bathing them. Provide them with age-appropriate toys, such as baby mirrors, rattles and textured toys.
Solitary Play (3 months – 2 years)
Solitary Play, also known as independent play, is when young children play alone and start interacting with toys independently and learning that they can do some things by themselves. During this stage, children aren’t typically interested in playing with other children. Play is based on the child’s knowledge and imagination instead of how they are expected to behave. They try to manipulate different objects they come in contact with, including different parts of their bodies, and become familiar with different movements, textures, and objects.
Since the Solitary Play age can last from three months to two years, the type of activities in this stage can vary enormously. Some examples of Solitary Play for infants include:
- sort or stack bowls or cups.
- look at bright and stimulating pictures on textured books.
- hold and look at a stuffed animal.
- use a baby gym.
- bang a surface with an object (e.g. hit a spoon on their high chair).
As children grow and become toddlers, Solitary Play also evolves. For example, toddlers in this stage may:
- complete a simple puzzle.
- flip through the pages of a book as if they are reading.
- have a tea party with dolls.
- shake a rattle to make noise.
- play with a train set.
Give your child a variety of toys (such as play dough, blocks, and kitchen utensils) to allow them to be creative. Provide your child with an open space to explore their surroundings. This can be your backyard, a park, or a playground.
Allow your child to play alone. It’s tempting to want to bond with them through play, but it is important to remember that Solitary Play helps their development so they are able to become healthy well-rounded individuals. It’s natural to want to offer suggestions when you observe your child struggling during Solitary Play. However, it is just as vital to allow them these opportunities to practice their creative problem-solving skills.
Onlooker Play (2 years)
At this stage, children are actively listening and observing their surroundings while taking mental notes. Onlooker Play, also known as Spectator Play, involves a child watching other children playing without engaging with them. As they observe other children play, they are gaining important knowledge about the world around them. It makes children independent, helps them understand their interests, and improves their concentration.
Some examples of Onlooker Play include:
- watch from a distance how other children interact with toys and each other.
- stay within earshot of other children playing but not actively participating.
Place your child in an environment where they can observe other children play. This can be by taking your child to a few playgroups, or planning playdates with friends who have children close in age. Take them to the playground or a park, as these are also good areas to watch other children play.
Parallel Play (2 years and older)
Parallel Play occurs when children are playing side-by-side independently but not interacting with each other. Your child continues to observe what other children are doing and may even try to imitate them or play beside them.
Some examples of parallel play include:
- two toddlers sitting next to each other, banging pans with spoons independently and without engaging with one another.
- one child playing with a doll while the child next to them is playing with a wooden truck.
- two youngsters stacking blocks next to each other, but not helping each other or giving each other blocks to use.
The key to promoting Parallel Play is to offer your child a variety of opportunities where different children of similar ages are able to play in close proximity. Take your child to the WIDGET ZONE at the mall, a playground or their favorite park. You can also schedule specific playdates to support Parallel Play at home. Start with one child as more can be overwhelming for your toddler. It may be better to start with short sessions, as your toddler may easily feel restless.
Place toys in the center of the room and let them understand that those toys are for everyone. When introducing a Parallel Play activity to your child, you may often see your child wanting to play with a toy seen in another person’s hand. Initially, they may be possessive of their toys. Encourage your toddler to interact and share their toys.
Associative Play (3 – 4 years)
In Associative Play, you’ll see a significant shift in how children play. Instead of simply playing alongside other children, you will see that they have started interacting with them. Children may participate in similar play activities, talk with each other during play, and share play materials. Children start showing interest in what other children are doing and include others in their play. It marks the start of their social interaction, where they engage more with the children around them. Nevertheless, children at this stage of development are still playing independently with different objectives and strategies.
Associative Play encourages language development because this is the stage where children start communicating with their peers. They’ll need to interact with others as they exchange and share their toys or express their willingness to take turns. Plus, they’ll become curious and ask others what they’re playing with.
Associative Play is key for developing children’s social skills. They are also learning to place boundaries as well as better understand and respect the boundaries of others. This is a crucial stage where children learn to adjust to a new environment. Changes happening around them will aid in their transition to the next stage of play.
Some examples of Associative Play include:
- children playing on the same piece of playground equipment but all doing different activities such as climbing, swinging, and being on the merry-go-round.
- working on art projects using shared materials or painting on the same canvas.
- engaging in role-play activities with other children.
Give your children opportunities to mingle with other kids of the same age. Continue to schedule play dates, visit the park, and take them regularly to community play areas. Introduce games which encourage interaction and especially taking turns.
Cooperative Play (4-5 years)
Cooperative Play is the final stage of play. The main difference between Associative Play and Cooperative Play is that the child begins to play with others in a way that is organized and directed toward a common objective.
A child is ready for this stage when they can understand how to accept roles during play, exchange ideas, and share toys. They also learn to respect other children’s property and follow the rules for each game they play.
Children will discuss their ideas on the best course of action. In doing this, they are learning to understand the perspective of others, as well as have their own ideas challenged and refined. They are also learning how to work as a team. Communication is essential as children continue to develop their language skills. They are also learning how to compromise and negotiate for the common good of the game or team.
Cooperative Play requires a child to express their desires and needs and hear out their playmates. Children learn that if they don’t communicate or listen, the game doesn’t go as smoothly and might not be as enjoyable.
Cooperative Play requires children to learn how to manage their emotions, like dealing with disappointments after a loss. Also, when children play in turns, they have to practice patience and wait for their time to participate.
Some examples of cooperative play include children:
- going on a treasure hunt.
- pretending to be a team of superheroes, princesses, or animals on an adventure.
- taking care of stuffed animals or dolls together.
- recreating scenarios they see in their everyday life, such as playing grocery store, doctor’s office, or veterinarian’s office.
- playing board games where children need to take turns and follow the agreed rules.
The key to encouraging Cooperative Play is to create opportunities for children to work together and collaborate. Encourage activities that require children taking turns. This may involve waiting to play with a toy, taking turns to use the play equipment at the playground, or playing a board game. You can also persuade your children to build things together (such as building a forte, puzzles, art projects, and science experiments). Plant a garden as this will encourage children to work together to decide what to plant and how to cooperate in caring for the plants.
Encourage children to engage in pretend play and create imaginary scenarios, like a pretend “restaurant” where children can take on different roles such as being the cook, waiter or the customer. How about suggesting to your child to pretend to be a doctor caring for a sick patient?
Finally, be a good example. Children are keen observers, and they take cues from the adults around them. Through play, let them discover their world as they develop healthy habits that they will carry with them throughout their development and into adulthood.
